The Reference Library - August 2023
I am really happy to be posting about this book! I feel like it doesn't get as much love as Atomic Habits by Jamies Clear, but a lot of what's in that book is directly taken from Dr. Fogg's research. And don't get me wrong, Atomic Habits is also an excellent book and will likely appear in a future edition of The Reference Library series. James Clear is talented in knowledge translation, which means he's really good at reviewing all the research and other information out there on a topic and then putting it into words that people will understand. But where Mr. Clear writes for your head, Dr. Fogg is speaking the language of your heart. 💖
Without further ado, I present to you the August 2023 Reference Library pick... Tiny Habits, by Dr. B.J. Fogg!
As a therapist working with folks who struggle with addiction, I've learned a lot about behaviour over the years. How to analyze behaviour, understand it, change it, how habits form, how to break them down, how to form new habits etc. But I found that there was often a wide chasm between what people knew they "should" do and what they actually did. Cognitive-behavioural science has given us a very good road map, but sometimes people just won't take the trip. Why is that?
There is no one answer to that question, but for many people it is not a matter of why but of how. People know what they should do, but not always how to do it. Change is really hard. Challenging the status quo can feel threatening. Asking someone to do something new, something that they have no experience with, can feel like you're setting them up for failure. And for people who have often felt like they were "failing" - disappointing themselves and others, letting people down, breaking promises, etc. - the fear of yet another failure becomes an impediment to trying.
And let's not kid ourselves! I mentioned that I learned a lot working with people who struggle with addiction, but ALL of us are prone to the exact same thinking traps and fears. Think about all the healthy things you know you "should" do, but that you don't. Why is that? Is it (at least in part) because you need to break it down in to really tiny steps in order to figure out the nuts and bolts of how it's actually going to fit into your life?
If yes, this book is for you!
Dr. Fogg is the narrator on the audiobook and if you're hearing-abled, I highly recommend it. He is a charming narrator. He also provides a lot of great PDFs and other resources on his website (linked above), so whether you're reading the book, the ebook, or listening to the audiobook, he's got you covered.
If you've read this book and have some experience with changing your habits, please comment! There is something wonderfully contagious about hearing stories of other people's success. It gives us all hope.
If you're struggling to change some habits in your life, give this book a read. And if you need support, look for licensed therapists in your area who specialize in behaviour change.
Professionally, my favourite thing is helping people to understand and change their habits in service of building a life they love, which happens in three parts. Part one is about understanding the existing habits and how they formed. Part two is about helping someone to undo habits that are not serving them any longer and to build new habits that do. And part three is about healing the old emotional wounds that may be underneath the bandaid of that old habit.
If you live in Alberta, Canada and you'd like to work with me, feel free to check out my website, Calder Mental Health Services, and to book a free consultation appointment to see if we're the right fit.
Happy reading,
Petrina
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