The Reference Library - September 2023

For this month's edition of The Reference Library I'd like to bring your attention to a little read that can have a big impact for those who need it. Allow me to present, Organizing for the Rest of Us by Dana K. White.

This is a slim book, or a short audiobook read by the author, that is presented in 100 brief chapters. Each chapter describes a different strategy for maintaining your habitat that are simple to implement. She provides a clear rationale for each of the strategies and they are presented in a specific order, such that each subsequent strategy builds on the gains from the previous ones.

I really liked this book and I found it very accessible for readers who might be feeling overwhelmed already. There's a negative feedback loop that can happen when a person is struggling with their mood or their overall stress levels. When things feel overwhelming, we naturally look for ways to simplify our lives and cut out or put off any extra tasks that we can. Often, some of the tasks that get put off are related to household organizing, tidying, and/or cleaning. It's meant to be a temporary strategy and it is a sound one, if it's short-term. But anyone who has employed this strategy knows about the results too; it gets you through whatever crisis had you feeling overwhelmed, but it leaves you with a bigger task to deal with afterward. And what happens if the feelings of overwhelm outlive the short-term strategy? Compounding feelings of overwhelm, as the original situation (whether an external stressor or an illness) persists and is made worse by the deterioration of our home environment and the knowledge that it's now going to take even more effort to get it back under control. That increases our feelings of overwhelm and can have a huge impact on our mental health.

Now, I've been using the word overwhelm but that state can look like a lot of different things. You might be thinking of someone you know who lives in a state of clutter and mess, but they don't seem particularly overwhelmed to you. They seem lazy; they're not doing anything to try and clean or tidy, they're just letting it get worse. While it's true that some people respond to feelings of overwhelm with a flurry of activity, as they anxiously try to get and stay on top of things, it's just as often that a person will shut down in the face of what feels like an overwhelming situation. Looks can be deceiving; someone can look like they don't care, when on the inside they are very overwhelmed and doing everything they can to avoid paying attention to the things that have them feeling this way. They are like a duck on a pond; on the surface all seems calm, while under the water they are paddling frantically. It can look like a person has a laissez faire attitude toward habitat maintenance, when really they are coping as best they can and all the while the chaotic environment is continuing to create more feelings of stress and overwhelm.

That's where a book like Organizing for the Rest of Us is a wonderful gift to the world. It's filled with tiny strategies a person can follow that will improve their habitat. You can choose to adopt one, a few, or all of them; each one will help make things better. Some are so small that they are still doable for someone who is feeling very overwhelmed. And taking action on these items can also help reverse the feedback loop - rather than avoidance, leading to more clutter, causing more distress, a person can instead start to experience action, overcoming inertia, and have feelings of hope that there is a way out of this situation.

There are a few other books out there that are in a similar vein, but I like this one for how brief and accessible the strategies are. It partners really well with last month's Reference Library pick, Tiny Habits. Most importantly, this is no Marie-What-Her-Name aspirational and perfectionistic organizing system. This isn't home maintenance for Social Media, characterized by clear plastic containers with bamboo lids and colour-coded contents (madness!). It's home care as self-care for people who are struggling to juggle all of life's responsibilities. In other words, it's for people like you and me who are living real lives with real stresses and real responsibilities, rather than being written for the aspirational selves we hope to manifest into one day. And - spoiler alert - you'll never manifest that version of yourself if you don't get a handle on these fundamentals first.

Thank you, Dana K. White!

If you are struggling with feelings of overwhelm and are having trouble getting started on the journey back to balance in your life, I encourage you to speak with a licensed therapist in your area. If you live in Alberta and you'd like to work with me, please check out my website, Calder Mental Health Services. I offer virtual care online to residents everywhere in Alberta and I have in-person appointments available in the Edmonton area.

Take care and happy reading!

Petrina